Unreliable Horoscopes

Edited by Sophia Axiotis

Photos Courtesy of Google Images

Horoscopes can be used to determine what type of characteristics one may own. They are

related with zodiac signs which are coordinated with the birthday month. Horoscopes are commonly researched and are most likely reliable due to the ancient history and calculations behind them. However, the following horoscope theories of personality traits are MADE UP. Warning - these should not be trusted under any circumstances.

Aries is one of the earliest zodiacs and applies to birthdays from March 21st to April 19th. Accordingly, they are very picky. So unfortunately, ordering a meal at a restaurant is very difficult for this grouping, since there are so many ingredients they will want to take out and add. The meal itself will not be satisfying until they have the certain additions and subtractions they asked for. This trait can also rear its ugly head when Aries are looking for friends, or even a significant other. Aries tends to keep a list of characteristics they find appealing in others, and even treat the candidates to another list of actions they find acceptable towards themselves. If these people do not meet the full criteria, the Aries in question will not accept them into their lives.

Another zodiac sign is Taurus, which includes birthdays from April 20th to May 20th. These people hate taking the blame for their actions, and do not like the idea of holding any responsibility. When they work on projects, they do not like to contribute should something go wrong. Essentially, Taurus likes to be safe from all methods of negative consequence.

Gemini reaches birthdays spanning from May 21st to June 20th. Unlike Taurus, they love being the center of attention. They do not care if they have a reputation that is good or bad, and just simply want to be noticed. How people see them is also (paradoxically) important to Gemini. They would love to have everybody look up to them, but things won't always go as planned.

Cancers are born between June 21st and July 22nd. Adventure is an important hobby for them. They hate to sit around and relax, and should they find themselves in such a bore-some situation, they will be away from home. They have a lot of ambition and desire to be spontaneous at all times. This causes Cancers to lack focus in simple leisure activities, which are considered unworthy their time.

Birthdays from July 23rd to August 22nd have the zodiac sign Leo. They are constantly making people laugh, as they are the joker of the signs, and they hate to see anybody without a smile on their face. Quite frequently, they do not have to try that hard to bring humor in a conversation. Their presence brings so much joy and amusement to those around them, and they would be a great friend to have around.

Virgo involves birthdays from August 23rd to September 22nd. Being judgemental is a major trait of theirs. Sometimes they do not intentionally judge, but it just pops into their minds and they can't help it. The good thing is that they don't share the mean judgements they come up with. On the outside, they are very kind people.

Libra encompasses birthdays from September 23rd to October 22nd. Libras love to brag. They also love their status to be higher than others and like to post everything on social media to show off what they are currently doing. They do not mind making it obvious that they are trying to boast and consequently do not care about what others think as long as they are satisfied with themselves succeeding.

Birthdays from October 23rd to November 21st are Scorpio, which are the athletic ones. They do well in almost every sport they attempt at. Everyone chooses Scorpio when they are creating teams, as they do at least five different sports in high school . Of course, they are on Varsity for all of them.

Sagittarius is from November 22nd to December 21st. They are the 'good listeners' of a friend group and genuinely care about others. It hurts them to see others get hurt. Sagittarius rarely gossips, and they are not given enough credit for the fact that they never abandon anyone. They also hardly ever give up and are incredibly tenacious. Commitment is significant for them.

Capricorn is birthdays from December 22nd to January 19th. Success means a lot to this zodiac sign. They will work as hard as they can to reach the goal they want to achieve. Failure often discourages them. Thus, they expect a lot from themselves because they know that they can achieve whatever they are trying to accomplish. Capricorn does not let an obstacle stop them from pushing forward.

Aquarius involves birthdays that are from January 20th to February 18th. It is important for them to win an argument. They believe as if they are always the correct ones. When they are wrong, they will not admit it, because that puts their pride at risk. Unfortunately, they care more about their own feelings than others.

Last but not least is Pisces. This is birthdays from February 19th to March 20th. They are the ones who fall in love easily and believe in “love at first sight”. They always think that they have found the love of their lives, but this always ends up changing by the next month. Pisces is addicted to love novels and movies and they hope for the same experience to happen to him as it does in the love stories they so dearly admire.

Enjoy these Fake Horoscopes, but also look into the real ones to see if the stars have aligned right!

CHS Journalism does not take the responsibility for broken relationships as a result of the aforementioned.